Oh lord, It is killing me.
that despicable feeling, the fear of being left behind, another black and white photograph hanged on that yellow empty part of the wall. Unnoticed, dusty over time, untouchable.
whether a friend a lover or even a stranger, never let them get the best of you. My grandmother used to tell me, whenever you think that happiness is with a person, leave him before he leaves you. I remember her stories , her smiles that were tears before but it cold stoned her heart, helpless she became, all what is left of her are her stories, with that cold stone smile. He used to hit her I know, she knows …even he knows.
I remember the times I saw the best of my friends hurt, broken, even shuttered to pieces. God they were too young, even I. I thought I was different, I forced my pride to shout into strangers’ faces, without uttering a single word. I made this armor for myself, I reinforced it with the sad desperate plain faces of those whom I loved, I didn’t want to be next, never going to happen to me, I….will protect the beating of my heart, never let it skip a beat or fall.
Life is unexpected, I had a best friend, I still have her somewhere, not right next to me , but somewhere. I guess she faded over time, we used to be so close at school, never apart. We had each other back, I got you my friend. We grew up, still together. If you ask me what are the things that you still share, I would say memories. We are connected only because of these 6 years before memories, somehow she chose not to renew them, but to me, it seemed that I was replaced. I became that black and white photograph on the yellow part of the wall. She visited me in my dreams, not because I can’t see her in reality, but because I’ve missed the shape of us together.,When my heart was shuttered to pieces, for that I was replaced and placed in oblivion, I saw in my face the same colors that I have seen in the faces of the ones I’ve loved….sad plain and desperate.
Love has many shapes and faces, but in each shape you will find a rock that will be thrown aiming at your heart, leaving it shuttered into pieces.
I still love you and I will always do.